I smiled a weary smile as I checked in - same hotel, same
room, 15 months later. I was a bit older, a bit wider but probably no wiser. I
remembered that agile, little woman, my experienced virgin. She used me really,
used my body to satisfy her sexuality. I wondered if she'd gone back to her
husband and told him every detail of our brief tryst, the lust, the passion,
the satisfaction. I wondered how he felt knowing his wife had been with
me.
It was weird though being back in the same room, it was like I wasn't alone, like I was joined by the ghost of 605, she was with me, close but far away. I wondered if she thought of me like I did her, not often but now and again at those times when I just needed a little bit of encouragement to finish the job. Or maybe she had a string of one-night stands, a coterie of lovers and I was just a face in the crowd, a number on a list, a notch on a bedpost. But it didn't matter, it was gone, in the past, just a ghost in my mind and in my room.
Only later that night it was no longer a ghost, it was a reality. I couldn’t bloody believe it, she was there, across the bar from me, the same four braying Brits, the same middle class conversation, the same lithe, agile body. Only this time she didn't have eyes for me. I might have well been invisible, whether she'd seen me or recognised me or wanted another go I didn't know because she didn't even look in my direction.
I decided it was time for bed, I put my drinks on my room bill not as ostentatiously as last time and headed up in the lift. How did I feel? I shouldn't have felt anything, it was meaningless sex, a one off, nothing in the scheme of things. But I suppose my pride was hurt, I climbed into bed and tried to sleep, but I was restless and it was hot, I threw my covers off and tried to sleep but I was restless and it was cold. I grabbed the duvet back and lay staring at the ceiling, illogically feeling sorry for myself, knowing that sleep was about as likely as another encounter with my 60 something lover.
But then amazingly I felt myself drifting off, sleep was coming, and then, there was the gentlest of taps on my door.
It was weird though being back in the same room, it was like I wasn't alone, like I was joined by the ghost of 605, she was with me, close but far away. I wondered if she thought of me like I did her, not often but now and again at those times when I just needed a little bit of encouragement to finish the job. Or maybe she had a string of one-night stands, a coterie of lovers and I was just a face in the crowd, a number on a list, a notch on a bedpost. But it didn't matter, it was gone, in the past, just a ghost in my mind and in my room.
Only later that night it was no longer a ghost, it was a reality. I couldn’t bloody believe it, she was there, across the bar from me, the same four braying Brits, the same middle class conversation, the same lithe, agile body. Only this time she didn't have eyes for me. I might have well been invisible, whether she'd seen me or recognised me or wanted another go I didn't know because she didn't even look in my direction.
I decided it was time for bed, I put my drinks on my room bill not as ostentatiously as last time and headed up in the lift. How did I feel? I shouldn't have felt anything, it was meaningless sex, a one off, nothing in the scheme of things. But I suppose my pride was hurt, I climbed into bed and tried to sleep, but I was restless and it was hot, I threw my covers off and tried to sleep but I was restless and it was cold. I grabbed the duvet back and lay staring at the ceiling, illogically feeling sorry for myself, knowing that sleep was about as likely as another encounter with my 60 something lover.
But then amazingly I felt myself drifting off, sleep was coming, and then, there was the gentlest of taps on my door.
If you have a sense of deja vu, check out this story from 15 months ago.
there is no audio for this one...
ReplyDeleteI am afraid many of them don't. one day I'll get around to them all :-)
Deleteoc course if you'd like to add your own audio feel free.
DeleteI know many don't have but I felt like listening to this one. And, hehe, I don't think it is a good idea for me to add my audio
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