The Tooth Fairy

 ‘There is no tooth fairy’ Mary said for the umpteenth time that day. ‘There’s no tooth fairy, there’s no Santa Claus and we’re not all in this together. Basically we’re screwed, and no gormless grin or wave of a magic wand will help us get out of it.’ She looked at Kev who was grinning gormlessly at her and holding a magic wand in the air.

‘Kev, this isn’t Harry fucking Potter, I’m fifteen, I’m pregnant, you’re16 and the father. We’ve got no money, no jobs, no future, we’ve broken the law and my dad is going to rip your gonads off you and feed them to you in onion gravy. What the fuck are we going to do?’ What was really bothering Mary wasn’t that she’d kind of mucked up her future or that her dad would kill her. It was more that she’d mucked up her future and her dad was going to kill her with this dimwit. Yeah, he looked like Harry Styles, yeah he had pecs and abs but for fuck’s sake he had about as much brains as a premier league footballer and as much class as a frog, or was it the other way around. In fact both ways might have been being harsh on footballers and frogs.

‘I’ve got a plan!’ Kev said ‘and it’s as simple as my socks.’

Mary rolled her eyes.

‘Don’t roll your eyes until you’ve heard it,’ he said looking a little hurt. ‘Look, just tell your dad that we were up here in your room when there was a strange beam of light and an angel appeared and told you you were going to be give birth to the son of god. Simples!’

‘Kevin, this is serious.’

‘I’m being serious Mary, the other Mary was about your age when she had Jesus and her mother and father bought that story.’

‘Kevin just go home.’ Mary said. Kevin looked at her, still with the magic wand in his hand.

He left, and a tear fell to the floor. Mary needed a miracle now and not the one Kev was on about.

Mary didn’t believe in god, she didn’t believe in miracles, she certainly didn’t believe in angels, but right now she wondered if maybe someone, somewhere was on her side. Almost as soon as Kev had left the room, her period had started. She wasn’t pregnant, she was two weeks late and the test had been wrong, but she wasn’t pregnant.

She took our her phone and texted Kev.

‘No need for us to follow your daft little plan, I’m not pregnant.’

It took 4 minutes for him to reply, which was about 3 minutes longer than he took to get them into this mess. She looked at the message.

‘How do you know?’

Did he really not know that? Her thumb got to work.

‘I think we should split up.’