Tuesday 18 November 2014

A letter from Chris Martin out of Coldplay

For audio click here
Re: Paradise
Dear Gareth,
Thank you very much for your email, which we read with interest.
I and the rest of the band are sorry that you do not like our music but let me assure you that I do indeed write the lyrics myself and they are not written by my children Apple or Moses.
As for your Coldplay Theory it did give us a good laugh but I am afraid we can neither confirm or deny whether it is true.
Let me turn now to the main subject of your email. We would like to state for the record that no birds have died in the making of our songs. The whole of Coldplay are committed to the preservation of all winged creatures and feel the mass murder of parrots would be harmful to the planet’s ecosystem. Yes you do have a point that we talk about breaking a butterfly but this is purely metaphorical and not a call to action for our fans.
As for the chorus I think you should listen again more carefully. We actually sing she dreamed of para para para dise every time she closed her eyes . Admittedly in the radio edit is it not as clear as we would have liked it to be, but let me assure you that at no time do we sing a parrot dies every time she closed her eyes as you claim. Therefore, we would ask you not to contact the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals or the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds, as there really is no need.
I hope this email has allayed your fears of mass parrot destruction.
Yours sincerely
Chris

Chris Martin out of Coldplay


For legal reasons I have to make it clear that this was written by me and not by the lead singer of Coldplay, or the person who was one year older than me in school or the cricketer who represents New Zealand or indeed any other Chris Martin. 




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