It’s all lies - A Steve Rant

‘You know what’ said Steve in a tone that made Johnny wince. He didn’t know what but he had the feeling he was gonna find out.  Johnny had just come back from the toilet and Steve had just been to the bar so there was no escape route.

‘What?’ said Johnny resigned to his fate.

‘I don’t believe anything any more.’

‘So what’s new? You’ve never exactly been the most religious of people have you?’ Johnny countered.

‘Not believe in, just believe.  I don’t believe anything. I think everything is fake, I don’t take anything at face value.’

‘What are you on about?’ Johnny said, bemused.

‘Well, do you remember that meme a week or so ago, about the two old women on a plane for the first time?’ Johnny nodded, he’d watched it half-heartedly on his lunch break. It was quite good but it hadn’t been as brilliant as most people were saying.

‘Did you believe it?’ Steve asked.

‘I didn’t really think about it.’ Johnny replied.

‘See, my first thought is that’s not real, that’s made up. That’s clever, but it’s just actors.’

‘But why would someone make something like that up?’

‘I don’t know but equally why would you film two old ladies on a plane? It’s not the first thing you think of is it?’ Johnny had to admit that Steve had a point.

‘And there there was that bank robber one, did you see it.’ Again Johnny nodded realising he really should get out more.

‘That was funny.’ Johnny said.

‘It was,’ agreed Steve ‘it made me CA but I didn’t believe it. Just because something is funny doesn’t mean it is true.’

‘CA?’

‘Chuckle audibly.’ Steve said making Johnny CA in the process. ‘So basically whether it is a dog riding on an elephant’s back, a kid playing in a puddle with a dog or Charlie biting my bloody finger I just think they are all photoshopped, set up or played by actors. A bit like those awful ‘you’ve been framed’ mishap videos that were all the rage a few years ago.’ Steve took a swig of beer.

‘But does it matter? It’s just fun, it doesn’t matter if you believe it.’

‘I’m not so sure,’ Steve said. ‘I think there is something sinister at work here.’

‘Like what?’ Johnny wasn’t having any of it.

‘I don’t know but all these things are presented as real, and people believe they’re real but they’re not.  I think it shows how perceptible we can be.’

‘Um I think you mean susceptible.’ Johnny corrected his friend, CAing as he did so.

‘Whatever I mean, it shows we should ask more questions... be be less accepting.’ Steve looked a little embarrassed at having used the wrong word

‘Or just relax and enjoy life,’ Johnny said smiling, ‘I don’t see they’re doing any harm.’

Steve nodded, Johnny had a point maybe he was getting hot under the collar about something he didn’t need to worry about. He took a swig of beer and decided he needed the loo.