Sheep People

Inspired by, and co written by Georgie Nadolig.

‘We regret to announce that we are currently experiencing slight delays to the underground service. We would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused.’

‘No shit Sherlock.’ Georgie said to no one in particular. There hadn’t been a train for 17 minutes, for a service that was meant to run every 3 minutes that did suggest something more than a slight delay. The usual rush hour crowds were swollen with Christmas shoppers meaning that the platform was crowded with people, children, pushchairs and shopping bags. This was the third time this week that the service was experiencing slight delays, the 8^th time this month that Georgie had been apologised to for the inconvenience caused and god knows how manyth time that she had missed her train because people who were employed to run an underground service seemed completely clueless about how to run an underground service.

Something had to be done. Georgie barged through the crowd like Richard Ashcroft in that Bitter Sweet Symphony video. People threw abuse at her but she didn’t care, she was on a mission and idiots with briefcases and shopping bags were not going to stop her.  She took the escalator back up to the vestibule and found the door she was looking for. She knocked very politely.

A small man with a bald head answered the door. Georgie grabbed him by the lapels and dragged him out of the way, she then went into the room and locked the door. The other man in the room looked at her shocked.

‘What the…’ he started to say but Georgie cut him short.

‘Shut up and do as I say and you won’t get hurt.’  It was a cheesy line but it did the trick, the metro company employee looked scared.

‘Now turn the public address system on.’ Georgie said, the man did as he was told.

‘Ladies and Gentleman. I'm a passenger like you on this joke of a public transport system. I regularly miss my train because these assholes don’t know how to do their jobs properly. They tell us it is environmentally friendly to use the metro but then they herd us into these hot, overcrowded carriages that are never on time. Sheep being taken to the abattoir are treated better than we are.

So let’s all use our cars tomorrow, let’s clog up the city above ground so the powers that be start pulling their act together and sort out the mess below ground. Come you sheep people, show them we are better than this, they are charging you for this, it is a rip off of the worst kind. Let's not take it anymore. Let’s make this city the most polluted and gridlocked city on the planet and see then if they will take us seriously. Let vote with our feet and teach these idiots a lesson.’ Georgie had run out of steam but she could hear cheering and on the screens in the control room see people were clapping her little speech. She knew that tomorrow nothing would change, the platforms would still be crowded, the trains late and the carriages would still be packed. But by god, as she was lead away by the police she didn’t half feel better. And what  made her feel even better was that after a half-hearted talking to the two officers offered her a lift home.