Friday 15 November 2013

Jamie's Tale




There's something special about this story. Have a listen, have a read and see if you can spot what is unique about it? Answer at the end.

Cardiff seemed empty and dark, the moon shone from a crisp, cloudless sky illuminating the rats and seagulls battling to salvage the scraps of burgers, chips and curry sauce left by the hoards of drunks refuelling after a night fuelling.

The laughter, shouts and clip clop of high heels had given way to an eerie, city silence, the rustle of litter, the squawk of the birds and the distant hum of street cleaners battling to make the city presentable by morning, were the only things audible.

Jamie stood in the centre of St Mary’s Street looking positively the worse for wear. The events of the night had certainly taken their toll and what Jamie needed more than anything was to get home, wash away the blood and somehow dispose of the knife that would forever more be known as the murder weapon.

Jamie had been walking for hours, confused and dazed. The night had started out pretty well, plenty of booze and plenty of laughter. But then everything went tits up, events spiralled so quickly. The stench of the toilet, the stench of fear; Jamie had been isolated and alone, vulnerable to inappropriate touches, invasions of privacy. Over in second, like a dream, but all too real.

Revenge was best served cold after everyone else had staggered home defeated by the night. Jamie had stuck the knife in with such force that bones crunched. Once, twice, three times, the knife entered flesh, life drained from the victim’s eyes as blood drained from the prone body.  Jamie ran, then staggered, then stopped here in the middle of Cardiff shivering in the cold night air. Sirens grew closer, uniformed men appeared from the shadows. The game was up.


The answer: Well another question first, is Jamie male or female? 




Answer
This story does not contain one pronoun





18 comments:

  1. female? - tits up:):):)

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    1. Good guess but tits up just means everything has gone wrong... it is not gender specific :-)

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    2. i know - just joking..... and you won't tell me tits are not gender specific:)

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    3. I'm looking in a mirror, I'm not so sure ;-)

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  2. We neither know the sex of the victim nor the murderer (because you've deliberately omitted the pronouns). It's likely that most of us will consider the murderer to be a man (because of our stereotypical thinking). The remark 'isolated and alone, vulnerable to inappropriate touches, invasions of privacy' may imply that somebody attempted to rape Jamie at the toilet. But was the raper a male? Hard to say. Was Jamie, the female, strong enough to be able to stick the knife with such a force, though?

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    1. Many people would probably say that because of the phrase "vulnerable to inappropriate touches, invasions of privacy" Jamie is a woman - and this is another example of a stereotypical thinking....

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    2. That's why I think this story is my favourite of all I've written.

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    3. You like playing games with us, readers, don't youu?:-)

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  3. I loved writing this story because it was a challenge leaving out the pronouns. (The fact that the people I tried it out on didn't notice made it even more satisfying.) I think the result is deliciously ambiguous.

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    1. Something you can do in English but not in inflected languages. By the way, initially you must have had a character on your mind when writing the story (that's what you teach us in your workshops), regardless of the fact that you later removed the pronouns. So? Was your Jamie a male or female? And the victim?

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    2. The process of writing this story was a bit different. I just started writing. Describing a scene, then introdicing a character...most stories start with an outline. but this was really freestyling... no planning.

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    3. Thanks for not answering my question :-)

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    4. I answered it :-) I genuinely don't know... :-)

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    5. I don't believe you :-) When writing a story, you automatically imagine everything you describe - even if only subconsciously. You may have rationally removed the pronouns but originally, Jamie must have had a face and sex :-)

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  4. very skilfully done

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  5. I have just read this and was reminded of this story. It's very interesting: the whole gender equality and gender neutrality thing and the idea of introducing a gender neutral pronoun. Maybe they should use your idea and try to skip pronouns altogether :-) http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2012/04/hen_sweden_s_new_gender_neutral_pronoun_causes_controversy_.html

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    1. and doesn't it look to you like some kind of attempt to create a new totalitrian system, a kind of newspeak?

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