The big question

Leighton checked himself in the mirror one last time before switching off the light and closing the door. Tonight was the night, the third date with Zoe, and we all know what third dates mean. 

He’d met Zoe through a dating website and they’d clicked straight away. This was his fourth attempt using the site and his first success, one had been nightmare and the other two he knew he’d never see again but had ended up in bed with them anyway. But Zoe had been different, the first date was fun not awkward, they'd laughed, drank, chatted, drank, laughed and went home separately. Date two went the same way, more laughter, more booze, more chat and again separate journeys home. Leighton hoped tonight that things would go the same except for the journey home.

He was not wrong, he was standing outside her place watching her fumble for her keys. She smiled at him as she fished them out and opened the door. The smile was delicious and full of east London promise. 

Leighton heard the yapping before he saw the hound, it was one of those awful, ratty, trophy dogs that women keep in their handbags.

‘Oh there’s my little Chandler.’ Zoe bent down and picked up the animal. Leighton was perturbed by her change in voice, her cool husk had become a excitable whine. ‘Come and meet the new man in my life.’ Zoe turned around to face Leighton, what had hapened to her face? All the cuteness had drained out of it. Her beautiful smile had turned into an ugly grimace as she held out one of Chandler’s paws for him to shake.

This was a game changer. Leighton hated dogs, all dogs, big ones, small ones, ones as big as your head, he didn’t discriminate, he hated them all. Zoe hadn’t mentioned the dog in the 3 meetings thus far and hadn’t put it in her profile. She's said she was an animal lover but aren't we all, who would write animal hater on a dating profile? Leighton usually ranted and raved about hounds as soon as the opportunity presented itself but had been on best behaviour on the dates thus far. 

Leighton needed time to think. He had to get out of there. It was time for the ‘I’m a celebrity’ plan to swing into action.

The ‘I’m a celebrity’ plan was an agreement Leighton had with his friend Miley, if either of them where in a situation that they wanted to get out of they texted ‘I’m a celebrity get me out of here’ to the other and they would call or text a message outlining some kind of emergency that would trigger a release clause. 

Within minutes he was checking his phone, pulling a face, grabbing his coat and apologising, promising to call her while simultaneously calling a taxi. She looked a little stunned and a little disappointed, that pleased Leighton a little.

He sat in the cab home thinking. Zoe was lovely, really lovely, she had everything he was looking for in a woman, and one thing he wasn’t. Could he date a woman with a dog? He hated dogs, couldn’t stand to be around them, they made his skin crawl. He’d watched that mutt lick Zoe’s face, a face that he was going to kiss. He bet she wouldn’t have washed it; he would basically have been kissing dog saliva. He shivered with disgust grateful he’d got outta there. Also was he would always be jealous of the hound. Zoe would always love Chandler more than she would ever love him. She’d put the dog first, catering to his ever whim, Leighton would always be second best. He’d live with that if it were a child but for an animal he just wasn’t willing to compete for her attention. Reluctantly he answered the question with a no.